Questions to ask relatives for your family tree

Your oldest relatives know names, places and stories that no record holds.

You don't need to ask them all. Pick the ones that fit the person, and let the conversation wander: the best answers usually come from a question you didn't plan.

Before you start

Ask for a short conversation, not an interview. An hour is plenty for a first talk. Come back another day for more.
Bring a few photographs. "Who is this?" brings back more than any question on a list.
Record it, with their permission. A phone's voice recorder is enough. You will want their exact words later, and you can't write fast enough to keep them.
Fill in a pedigree chart beforehand with what you already know, and bring it. The gaps tell you what to ask, and they can correct it as you go.

Questions about them

What is your full name, and were you named after anyone?
When and where were you born? Which hospital, house or town?
Where did you live as a child? Can you describe the house and the street?
What did your parents do for a living?
Did you have brothers and sisters? What are their full names, and when were they born?
Where did you go to school, and what did you do after?
What work did you do? Did you serve in the military?
How did you meet your husband, wife or partner? When and where did you marry?
Where have you lived since, and why did you move?

Questions about their parents

What were your mother's and father's full names? What was your mother's surname before she married?
When and where were they born?
What were they like? What do you remember them saying or doing?
How did they meet, and where did they marry?
Did either of them marry more than once, or have children with someone else?
When and where did they die, and where are they buried?

Questions about grandparents and further back

Do you remember your grandparents? What were their names, and where did they live?
Did anyone in the family come from another country? Do you know when they came, from which town, or on which ship?
Were there any family names that were changed, spelled differently, or written another way in the old country?
Was anyone in the family known for something, or talked about at family gatherings?
Is there a family story about where we came from? Who told it to you?

Questions about the rest of the family

Who were your aunts and uncles, and who did they marry?
Who were your cousins, and where did they end up?
Are there relatives the family lost touch with?
Who else in the family might know more, or has been researching it?

Questions about papers and things

Is there a family Bible, a box of letters or a photo album? Who has it now?
Do you have birth, marriage or death certificates, military papers, passports, or citizenship papers?
Are there names or dates written on the backs of any photographs?
Is there anything handed down, a piece of furniture, jewellery or a recipe, with a story behind it?

Tips for the conversation

Ask open questions. "Tell me about your mother" gets more than "Was your mother born in 1920?"
Ask for specifics. A street, a church, a shop, a ship's name: each one is a record you can look for later.
Don't correct them as they talk. Note where a story disagrees with a record and look into it afterwards. Both may be partly right.
Ask how they know. "Did you see it, or were you told?" A story heard from a grandparent is worth keeping, marked as such.
Go gently around hard memories. Wars, deaths and family breaks can still hurt. Let them choose how much to say.
Write the date and who was there at the top of your notes or the start of the recording.

Where to keep the answers in Draw My Tree

Put each answer on the person it is about, so it stays with them in the tree:

Names, dates and places go in the person's details in the side panel. An approximate date is fine: type "about 1920" or "before 1930".
Memories and stories go in the person's Story, which is written like a short biography. Say who told it: "Her son remembers her singing in the choir at St. Mary's."
The conversation itself can go under Sources & documents as a Text note, with the date and who was speaking, so a story can cite it.
Events they mention, such as a marriage, a move or a military record, go in the Life timeline with a date and place.
New people, a great-aunt or a cousin you hadn't heard of, are added from the + on a relative's card.

Stories, photos, and events explains each of these, and Building your tree covers adding and linking people. To let the relative check what you wrote, or add to it, share the tree with them.

Start a tree as a guest: no account is needed for up to 50 people.